Find Someone Who...

Have you ever: had stitches, had a bad case of diarrhea, been a Girl Scout, felt suicidal.

Each week I go into a Minnetonka Middle School and meet with a group of 8-10 7th & 8th Grade girls to discuss a variety of issues. It's been something I've done for a couple of years. This year, though, my group has been a very dynamic mix of personalities. I've enjoyed them immensely and I would go so far as to say it's been one of my favorite groups. It is a mixture of chaos, energy, and hormones. They are extremely talkative. To bring some order to our discussion, each girl that wants to talk has to hold a stuffed frog. Sometimes we talk about serious things, but mostly it's very surfacey.

I would say today was a breakthrough. The beginning "Have you ever" was an activity I had the girls participate in. They each had a piece of paper where they had to find someone who: "blank" and then get their initials. It was a fun, yet personal activity, considering the last question was asking them if they've ever felt suicidal. I wasn't sure how the group would respond, but I felt in my heart that it was important to explore and discuss this issue. My biggest goal was to get them to see that no matter what the situation or issue is; they are not alone in the hard things. There is always someone else who can relate or understand.

It didn't take long before the conversation got deeper and girls were pouring their true feelings out. Some feel so rejected and hurt by friends and parents that they wonder if living even matters. One girl crys herself to sleep ever night because she wishes she didn't have to dress preppy to be accepted. Some believe change is not possible in their lives because they've made so many mistakes. I was very proud of the girls as they listened to each other and comforted one another. I had a chance to remind them of their beauty and worth. Many of the girls were in tears before the end of group. I was overcome with so much emotion and empathy for them that we ended with a somewhat cheesey, but powerful, group hug.

I long for these girls, and many others like them, to know the imporance of their worth and beauty. Many of them do not have a support network to help them struggle through difficult times. I was so thankful that I could reccomend a place at TreeHouse to connect that makes it its mission to remind kids that they are lovable, capable, worthwhile, not alone, and loved without strings.

Winter Blast 2009 pics

Brrr...Why is it that we live in MN?

Gosh, it's been nearly 4 months since I've updated my posts! Thank you if you're reading this because it means you are faithful to still check up on me--even when nothing appears for quite a while!

Today is the third straight day of crazy cold temperatures. An Arctic Chill has taken over most of MN. In response to the severe weather conditions we canceled program tonight--something we hardly do or like to do for that matter. Perception is reality, and while we could easily carry on with program despite the weather, it's important that we communicate a sense of safety to parents and the community.

I've hardly had a Tuesday or Thursday night free since I've started TreeHouse nearly four years ago so I don't even know what to do with myself tonight. I think starting a fire in the fireplace and staying inside is a good first step.

We just got back from our Winter Blast retreat last weekend so look forward to pictures and video coming soon--I promise. We took 20 kids from our area. Also, I thought since I'm re-emerging from the dead I thought I should make the announcement that as of January 5th I've started my new promotion as the Area Program Coordinator of the Minnetonka TreeHouse.

Warm wishes to you all!

The world of texting

LOL. JK. OMG. BRB. BTW. TTYL. BZ. If you have a hard time deciphering the before mentioned abbreviations it may just mean you're not accustomed to the world of texting. The English language has drastically been reduced to a series of short phrases and misspelled words to allow texters the freedom to use less space and to quickly send off a message in 2.4 seconds.

In the last year a large part of my communication on the phone has switched to texting. The recent phone I purchased reflects this decision. I now am outfitted with a QWERTY keyboard to make typing out text messages simpler and (hopefully) faster. I do, however, have mixed feelings over it all.

I enjoy the convenience of sending off a quick message that requires no follow-up, but then I sacrifice the relational aspect of being able to talk in person. And at times I almost avoid talking in person because it requires less effort on my part to just send off a quick text. The best way to get ahold and contact kids on my careload is through texting, but then I start to notice how my grammar starts to suffer after receiving and sending so many texts like "r u free 2 hang out 2moro?" I am simply baffled at how much kids have to say that requires them to send over 2,000 messages a day, but then when in person they cannot say more than a few full sentences.

Teenagers are immersed in a very technological and accessible culture (My Space, texting, ipods, etc). For my job I see the benefit of understanding and involving myself in it to some degree. My challenge then becomes how to react to the influence it has on their lives. It's not okay to dump your girlfriend or boyfriend over a text message. And so begins the teaching moment of how to end relationships well. Or it's not okay to threaten to beat someone up over My Space. I then get to talk about healthy conflict resolution. Many of our kids just don't know how to interact relationally because they've been hidden behind this veil of technology. It's very interesting watching the trends change.

And we know the trends have changed indeed, because Brian, my husband, has now turned into a texter...

G&P 2 U
(Grace and peace to you)

Take Time To Rest

There is a week and half to go before summer ceases to be known for many of us. And before this post turns into a cliche summary of the seasons of life, I do want to point out how the end of summer makes me feel: tired. The dreary weather outside and the hot temperatures in the office (because of a broken AC) definitely contribute to my lethargic state at the moment, but my tiredness goes beyond the here and now.

Resting is something very hard for us to do. Physical rest almost seems non-existent in a culture saturated with drive-thru Starbucks and a barrage of energy drinks that I coin "sleep in a cup". What's even worse, is we seem to applaud hard workers that work long hours and then wonder why their marriages fail or why their kids don't spend time with them.

In my work at TreeHouse I am often torn when it comes to the topic of the "correct" amount of time spent at my job. While we encourage healthy boundaries between personal life and work, I still find it hard sometimes to go home at the end of the day feeling like I didn't do enough. Staff that are able to meet 1:1 with a ton of kids are esteemed. Yet I know when I am physically, emotionally, or spiritually starved and exhausted I am no good to anyone.

So where is the balance? In my almost three years at TreeHouse I know it doesn't look like my fellow co-workers. I simply cannot survive on three-no hours of sleep on an overnight and still be any fun to kids, like some staff. Since getting married I have realized the even greater importance of not saying yes to another 1:1 at five 'o clock or agreeing to more hours on the weekend than I need to. In a way, marriage has created a better balance because I see more directly and quickly how my overworking can affect someone than just me. For awhile I had to let go that I was disappointing someone by not signing up for everything.

So as I prepare to enjoy my last weekend before our last summer TreeHouse trip, I plan to rest. I rec commend you do the same.

Over 100 bands and 4 mosh pits later...

I just returned from one of MN's largest Christian music festivals, Sonshine. We took 9 kids for 4 days of concerts ranging from alternative rock to hip hop to the extreme scream-o bands. I came back feeling old. Mainly because I don't enjoy participating in the sweaty mosh pit mess. I was intimidated of the crowd surfing-- especially after people nearly dropped on top of me. So I hung out from a distance and enjoyed the fresh air and space. One of our girls, Tessa, came back the first day shoeless and without half of her big toe nail--all from the glamour of the moshing. And yet, she went back for more--again and again--because she loved it so much.

It was great to take kids who do not label themselves as people who listen to "Christian music" or music with a positive message and watch them become fans of bands that preached the gospel during each of their songs.

On a personal note, I leave tonight for California to celebrate my ONE year anniversary!

Can I paint your nails?

I get asked this question every time I hang out with Tonya. Her endless supply of nail polish amazes me. Yesterday it was without fail, and before I knew it she was eagerly painting my nails bright pink at the local DQ. Usually her paint job is spotty and messy looking, but yesterday her attempt was semi-decent. However, it looks like I'm stuck in the 80s and, alas, the nail polish must come off. Tonya has even earned a reputation for being the Nail Polish Queen among my staff because Kristen, our summer intern, took one look at my nails and said, "You must have been hanging out with Tonya." So, if you're looking for a nail specialist and don't mind the occasional missed brush stroke over your finger, then let me know. I have the hook-up.