Find Someone Who...

Have you ever: had stitches, had a bad case of diarrhea, been a Girl Scout, felt suicidal.

Each week I go into a Minnetonka Middle School and meet with a group of 8-10 7th & 8th Grade girls to discuss a variety of issues. It's been something I've done for a couple of years. This year, though, my group has been a very dynamic mix of personalities. I've enjoyed them immensely and I would go so far as to say it's been one of my favorite groups. It is a mixture of chaos, energy, and hormones. They are extremely talkative. To bring some order to our discussion, each girl that wants to talk has to hold a stuffed frog. Sometimes we talk about serious things, but mostly it's very surfacey.

I would say today was a breakthrough. The beginning "Have you ever" was an activity I had the girls participate in. They each had a piece of paper where they had to find someone who: "blank" and then get their initials. It was a fun, yet personal activity, considering the last question was asking them if they've ever felt suicidal. I wasn't sure how the group would respond, but I felt in my heart that it was important to explore and discuss this issue. My biggest goal was to get them to see that no matter what the situation or issue is; they are not alone in the hard things. There is always someone else who can relate or understand.

It didn't take long before the conversation got deeper and girls were pouring their true feelings out. Some feel so rejected and hurt by friends and parents that they wonder if living even matters. One girl crys herself to sleep ever night because she wishes she didn't have to dress preppy to be accepted. Some believe change is not possible in their lives because they've made so many mistakes. I was very proud of the girls as they listened to each other and comforted one another. I had a chance to remind them of their beauty and worth. Many of the girls were in tears before the end of group. I was overcome with so much emotion and empathy for them that we ended with a somewhat cheesey, but powerful, group hug.

I long for these girls, and many others like them, to know the imporance of their worth and beauty. Many of them do not have a support network to help them struggle through difficult times. I was so thankful that I could reccomend a place at TreeHouse to connect that makes it its mission to remind kids that they are lovable, capable, worthwhile, not alone, and loved without strings.

Winter Blast 2009 pics

Brrr...Why is it that we live in MN?

Gosh, it's been nearly 4 months since I've updated my posts! Thank you if you're reading this because it means you are faithful to still check up on me--even when nothing appears for quite a while!

Today is the third straight day of crazy cold temperatures. An Arctic Chill has taken over most of MN. In response to the severe weather conditions we canceled program tonight--something we hardly do or like to do for that matter. Perception is reality, and while we could easily carry on with program despite the weather, it's important that we communicate a sense of safety to parents and the community.

I've hardly had a Tuesday or Thursday night free since I've started TreeHouse nearly four years ago so I don't even know what to do with myself tonight. I think starting a fire in the fireplace and staying inside is a good first step.

We just got back from our Winter Blast retreat last weekend so look forward to pictures and video coming soon--I promise. We took 20 kids from our area. Also, I thought since I'm re-emerging from the dead I thought I should make the announcement that as of January 5th I've started my new promotion as the Area Program Coordinator of the Minnetonka TreeHouse.

Warm wishes to you all!

The world of texting

LOL. JK. OMG. BRB. BTW. TTYL. BZ. If you have a hard time deciphering the before mentioned abbreviations it may just mean you're not accustomed to the world of texting. The English language has drastically been reduced to a series of short phrases and misspelled words to allow texters the freedom to use less space and to quickly send off a message in 2.4 seconds.

In the last year a large part of my communication on the phone has switched to texting. The recent phone I purchased reflects this decision. I now am outfitted with a QWERTY keyboard to make typing out text messages simpler and (hopefully) faster. I do, however, have mixed feelings over it all.

I enjoy the convenience of sending off a quick message that requires no follow-up, but then I sacrifice the relational aspect of being able to talk in person. And at times I almost avoid talking in person because it requires less effort on my part to just send off a quick text. The best way to get ahold and contact kids on my careload is through texting, but then I start to notice how my grammar starts to suffer after receiving and sending so many texts like "r u free 2 hang out 2moro?" I am simply baffled at how much kids have to say that requires them to send over 2,000 messages a day, but then when in person they cannot say more than a few full sentences.

Teenagers are immersed in a very technological and accessible culture (My Space, texting, ipods, etc). For my job I see the benefit of understanding and involving myself in it to some degree. My challenge then becomes how to react to the influence it has on their lives. It's not okay to dump your girlfriend or boyfriend over a text message. And so begins the teaching moment of how to end relationships well. Or it's not okay to threaten to beat someone up over My Space. I then get to talk about healthy conflict resolution. Many of our kids just don't know how to interact relationally because they've been hidden behind this veil of technology. It's very interesting watching the trends change.

And we know the trends have changed indeed, because Brian, my husband, has now turned into a texter...

G&P 2 U
(Grace and peace to you)

Take Time To Rest

There is a week and half to go before summer ceases to be known for many of us. And before this post turns into a cliche summary of the seasons of life, I do want to point out how the end of summer makes me feel: tired. The dreary weather outside and the hot temperatures in the office (because of a broken AC) definitely contribute to my lethargic state at the moment, but my tiredness goes beyond the here and now.

Resting is something very hard for us to do. Physical rest almost seems non-existent in a culture saturated with drive-thru Starbucks and a barrage of energy drinks that I coin "sleep in a cup". What's even worse, is we seem to applaud hard workers that work long hours and then wonder why their marriages fail or why their kids don't spend time with them.

In my work at TreeHouse I am often torn when it comes to the topic of the "correct" amount of time spent at my job. While we encourage healthy boundaries between personal life and work, I still find it hard sometimes to go home at the end of the day feeling like I didn't do enough. Staff that are able to meet 1:1 with a ton of kids are esteemed. Yet I know when I am physically, emotionally, or spiritually starved and exhausted I am no good to anyone.

So where is the balance? In my almost three years at TreeHouse I know it doesn't look like my fellow co-workers. I simply cannot survive on three-no hours of sleep on an overnight and still be any fun to kids, like some staff. Since getting married I have realized the even greater importance of not saying yes to another 1:1 at five 'o clock or agreeing to more hours on the weekend than I need to. In a way, marriage has created a better balance because I see more directly and quickly how my overworking can affect someone than just me. For awhile I had to let go that I was disappointing someone by not signing up for everything.

So as I prepare to enjoy my last weekend before our last summer TreeHouse trip, I plan to rest. I rec commend you do the same.

Over 100 bands and 4 mosh pits later...

I just returned from one of MN's largest Christian music festivals, Sonshine. We took 9 kids for 4 days of concerts ranging from alternative rock to hip hop to the extreme scream-o bands. I came back feeling old. Mainly because I don't enjoy participating in the sweaty mosh pit mess. I was intimidated of the crowd surfing-- especially after people nearly dropped on top of me. So I hung out from a distance and enjoyed the fresh air and space. One of our girls, Tessa, came back the first day shoeless and without half of her big toe nail--all from the glamour of the moshing. And yet, she went back for more--again and again--because she loved it so much.

It was great to take kids who do not label themselves as people who listen to "Christian music" or music with a positive message and watch them become fans of bands that preached the gospel during each of their songs.

On a personal note, I leave tonight for California to celebrate my ONE year anniversary!

Can I paint your nails?

I get asked this question every time I hang out with Tonya. Her endless supply of nail polish amazes me. Yesterday it was without fail, and before I knew it she was eagerly painting my nails bright pink at the local DQ. Usually her paint job is spotty and messy looking, but yesterday her attempt was semi-decent. However, it looks like I'm stuck in the 80s and, alas, the nail polish must come off. Tonya has even earned a reputation for being the Nail Polish Queen among my staff because Kristen, our summer intern, took one look at my nails and said, "You must have been hanging out with Tonya." So, if you're looking for a nail specialist and don't mind the occasional missed brush stroke over your finger, then let me know. I have the hook-up.

"The water levels are the highest they've been in years. It looks like you'll have some pretty exciting rapids to deal with." This was the explanation given to us by the rafting outfitter before we headed out on the Wolf River. I was already feeling cautious since Wisconsin had received an extreme amount of rain leading up to our trip, and this bit of news didn't bring about a huge sense of calm. In fact, just the day before my Wolf River trip, friends that were going with Brian to the Boundary Waters left Madison and were stuck in traffic for over an hour before they could get on Highway 94 due to flooding. Needless to say there was a lot of water in Wisconsin.

We took 11 kids and five staff white water rafting this year. The only setbacks (and they were minor) were a few wrong turns, a meltdown on the river the first day by one of our kids, and a pretty sweet leg wound from yours truly. It's amazing how God's hand of protection was on us the entire week.

I've developed a great passion for the outdoors and camping (thanks to my husband Brian) and I loved the opportunity to teach kids to share in that joy last week. There is something so simple and pure in sharing a conversation with a kid who has been shuffled from foster parent to foster parent while roasting marshmallows. Or staying up late with the girls in my tent to play cards.

Summers at TreeHouse offer little breaks or down time, but through all the chaos I see the most life change in kids.

Schools Out For Summer

Yesterday was the much anticipated day for every junior high and high school kid: the last day of school. And for those still in junior high an even better bonus: Valley Fair. Unfortunately yesterday also happened to be a pretty big thunderstorm day. When I was in middle school I remember my end of the year Valley Fair trip was also rainy. Those flimsy ponchos just don't keep you dry. My sympathies went out to all those kids.

Last night was also my turn to speak. We had a dirt theme because I was teaching on Jesus healing the blind man with dirt and spit. As a way to introduce the whole dirt theme I shared about my childhood and how I was a dirt eater. (see picture to the left). Thankfully I have outgrown my appetite for dirt.

On a personal note, I leave for the MS150 bike ride. The forecast shows rain. I'm not a big fan of riding in the rain so it should be interesting. We'll see how well my rain jacket repels water.

Gas Prices

While the cost of unleaded gas has not exceeded $4/gallon yet, I did pump $106 into my tank yesterday. The first time ever that I've seen it go over $100! I always like to play a game with any kids that are in my van at the time of my re-fueling called "Who can guess the gas price?" I'm proud to say my guess was the closest at $103. I don't have to worry about paying out of pocket for TreeHouse gas so I can enjoy the simple pleasures of games like this. Where as if I was fueling up my Civic, I would be cringing every time the price went up.

Thank you from the snowy tundra

It's snowing out right now. I heard the possibility of 4-10 inches of wet, heavy snow. My hopes of wearing flip-flops will have to wait a few more weeks. The only real thing I dread is brushing all the snow off of the TreeHouse van in a few hours when I leave for my one-to-one. Oh well...Such is life...

I was able to make my MPD year-end target just in time. So, THANK YOU for all of your encouragement, prayer, and financial contributions.

More recently, this last weekend we completed our Party Like A Rockstar all-nighter. That's right--over 14 hours of hanging out with kids and trying desperately to stay awake. We took 20 mostly junior high kids on the event. While the event was extremely fun and wild (2AM donut runs and a lot of energy drinks), I remember now why we only plan an all-nighter once a year: adults simply don't have the same capacity to stay awake like a 13 year-old does. I dropped kids off at sunrise and slept until close to sunset the same day, and I still feel like I'm recovering two days later.

If any of you out there can imagine yourself trying to stay awake at all night at an event like Part Like A Rockstar, I'm curious what your drink of choice would be to avoid sleep. Coffee? Energy drink? Mt. Dew? Go ahead, weigh in your thoughts. Until later, the National Sleep Foundation says 7-9 hours of sleep is recommended to feel well-rested.

Michelle

I'm back!

Wow...it's been awhile since I've blogged. I hope you haven't given up on me. So if only one person reads this--thank you!

TreeHouse's year-end is FAST approaching! Which means I have until the end of March to reach my target. Currently I am only $300 away from reaching my year-end goal. Would you please consider helping me reach my target?

The programs at TreeHouse are designed to provide a safe place for teens to work through life's issues. I am committed to developing long-term relationships with teens who believe they don't matter and have lost their sense of worth.
Rachel, 13, is 4 1/2 months pregnant. She'll turn 14 shortly after she gives birth. For months she kept her pregnancy a secret because she was too ashamed to tell anyone--including her mom and sister.

Jackie, 16, was raped last week. She was hoping to save herself for someone she cared about. In desperation after, she turned to cutting herself to release some of the pain. She comes to TreeHouse because she knows it's a safe place and people won't look down on her.

I am continually moved by what some of these kids endure. God is doing awesome things in our area. He is healing broken people and reminding them of an unconditional Love. Right now we are fully staffed and seeing new faces all the time! Your resources make a difference. I hope that some of you will feel led to get involved. If you would like to help me reach my target or partner on a monthly basis please contact the main office:
TreeHouse
5666 Lincoln Dr Suite 201
Edina, MN 55436

Blessings!

Michelle

MySpace what?

So first is was Facebook and now it's MySpace. Both of these online death traps (death traps because they suck away so much of your time) were things I swore I would not become apart of. Well, my last ounce of resistance has been stripped away. I am now a MySpace member. While Facebook is really a personal time waster, I am signing up with MySpace to connect with SO many of the youth I work with. There is a whole different dynamic you get welcomed into when you become apart of the MySpace family. Much of our youth's drama seems to get started over MySpace messages. I hope to use this outlet as a ministry tool. You are welcome to become my MySpace friend too. I only have three friends so far...

PS. I'd love to know who's actually reading my blog ramblings. If you're able to send me feedback if this helps you feel connected then please speak up! Either here or on MySpace. My username is Java Queen or you can find me under my name.

Happy Turkey Day!

80s prom fiesta

We had an 80s prom themed Halloween party this week and I might add you I'm pretty proud of my prom dress. Now the question of whether I would have worn my dress to prom in the 80s is questionable. I think the whole 80s prom theme was comical because most of these kids were born after the 80s. Is it true that I am actually starting to get old in these kids' eyes? (Marie, who I work with, is on the left, Guy, our year-long intern, is in the back, and I am on the right).

On another note, we are leaving for our Fall Retreat today. We are taking 14 kids up north for the weekend for a chance to connect with each other and God in the outdoors. Please pray for physical safety (including rest--if possible!), wisdom in our leadership, and soft hearts in the kids that are going.

Toner explosion

If it isn't bad enough that we have a copier older than me at work, it exploding on me when I tried to change the toner just equaled DISASTER. I am posting a picture of the incident to document the many challenges of my day. And yes, the day I decide to wear white was the day the copier decides to dump heaps of black ash all over me.

We recently took 14 (mainly all girls) youth to an event called "Nightmare". We traveled nearly three hours to Marshfield, WI to walk through a reality-based simulation highlighting common choices teens make and their consequences. The final room ending with Jesus on the cross and a decision to choose life. Nightmare is run by Believer's Church and is far beyond the corny and cheesy dramas you sometimes see at churches.

Our kids were drawn to the thrill of being scared and had no idea what to expect. It took over an hour and half waiting in line in what I would describe as a gross mushy swamp. It had rained for three weeks earlier and the ground was saturated with standing water. I am so glad I chose to wear mesh shoes that day!

We walked through several rooms depicting a party and then a fatal car crash, a girl who had slit her wrists, a drug room, a suicide room, a gang-related drive-by, hell, and finally Jesus on the cross. All of the rooms were intense and powerful. The event stirred up a lot of emotion and reaction from our kids. Many of them saw themselves somewhere along the way; whether it be from choices they've made or the feelings of desperation shown by the actors.

Since Marshfield, WI is a far way from home, we spent the night in good 'ol Eau Claire, WI, where I went to school. We stayed at Mark and Marcel Hulls' house where they cooked and treated us with amazing hospitality. I came home exhausted and ready for sleep and the kids came back wired and ready for more.

(some of the pictures from the event are posted in my pictures section)

Local spotlight

TreeHouse has been in the news. We are gearing up for our annual Women of Hope fundraiser. This year's speaker is Erin Gruwell, the featured teacher in the "Freedom Writers" movie. Check out the coverage from Kare 11.

http://www.kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=266068

Interruptions please

On Monday I had my day scheduled out to do office work. However, as I've learned quite often, planning my day out doesn't always mean it goes as scheduled.

On my way in to the office (okay, really on my way in to get coffee) I got a phone call from one of our volunteers. She said that Erica* needed to do a one-to-one because of what happened over the weekend. Erica has been in an ongoing no-speaking fight with her sister for the last two years. This is anything but simple sibling rivalry. Erica feels her sister gets special treatment from her parents and is fed up with her stuff being stolen from her room. As a result Erica is left feeling trapped in her own house because she is deeply attached to her belongings and can not depend on her parents to help.

As things have grown worse over time Erica finally decided to take things into her own hands by hiding three large chopping knives in her room as self-defense. Her regard for her sister's safety is gone and cannot see past the amount of hurt she feels from her sister to care anymore.

I sat across Erica on Monday, sharing a basket of fries and buffalo wings, and listened to another sad encounter she had with her sister. This time Erica had had enough. Now the issue was no longer keeping the knives in her room because of her sister, but wanting to use the knives to hurt herself. After two hours of talking, I drove Erica home and left that afternoon with three very sharp knives.

I never really know what my day will look like and that's the beauty of working at TreeHouse. Interruptions are looked at as annoying, but I've learned that interruptions can bring great opportunity and growth.

*Name changed to protect confidentiality

Let's Get The Show On The Road

This entry marks the beginning of what I hope to be a beautiful friendship. I've had a lot of great moments with TreeHouse and often don't get the chance to communicate them with many people right away. My vision for this blog is to reveal a more complete and ongoing picture of what I do with my time at TreeHouse. You can look forward to stories, prayer requests, fundraising needs, pictures, and anything else that comes across my mind at the time.

Enjoy and please leave me comments!